Egg Rolls, Auto-Tune and a Dancing Panda? It’s ‘Chinese Food,’ by Alison Gold!

The video for “Chinese Food,” in which a painfully white 14-year-old girl sings about how good fried noodles, rice, egg rolls and chow mein make her feel, went viral today.

This is for those non-tween Rebecca Black fans who were crossing their shamed fingers for a song more embarrassing than “Friday.” Yeah, you know you f*cking sang that into your hairbrush, old man.

And you’re in absolutely no luck at all, because “Chinese Food” shares a songwriter with “Friday” and the little girl is all like “make it spicy,” and I’m like “it’s too bad some towns don’t have abortion clinics.” (Shame on you for thinking I was talking about chopsticking anyone but THIS GUY.)

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