Everyone’s talking about Miley Cyrus’ “shocking” performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. Honestly the most horrible thing about it besides her looking like one of those street kids from the 90s who either sucks dicks for five cents or looks like they do as a fashion statement, was the fact that Robin Thicke agreed to let her sing part of his sexy summer anthem “Blurred Lines.”
She really can’t sing at all. She’s basically just a back alley doll that bends over and jiggles when you pull a string in her back.
Oh heyyyy. This one thing is sexual, I better do it so people will pay attention to me. Look at my edgy hair. I’m the next Gwen Stefani! Wooooo, look at me go.
NO. The only good that came out of that performance besides the Vanessa Bayer intro is this photoshop masterpiece of Robin as Beetlejuice getting his dick ground off by her thin white tailbone.
HAVE YOU SEEN a Nelly, Ludacris or R. Kelly video? Black women have been shaking their butts for centuries, so “twerking” must directly translate to sad and rhythmless sack of paste.
Watch Justin Timberlake’s performance to see how it’s done. I would say the ‘N Sync part was too short but God knows Chris, Joey and Lance needed help up there. The entire VMAs (besides Justin) made me feel like I could be the next Kenny Ortega or Michael Jackson, and I dance like Shrek caught in a bear trap.
Read: Miley Cyrus Twerk and Will Smith’s hilarious reaction (GIF)
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- Sherri Shepherd on Miley Cyrus: ‘She’s Going to Hell in a Twerking Handbasket’ (Video)